he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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