TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
