we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
