Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
