They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sorry about my life...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
