I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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