And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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