Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
