yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
you never un-have a 4some
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
