A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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