I look better un-naked...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize