this just has baby written all over it
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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