I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i out mim tonsoeep
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