dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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