Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
