Where did you get a picture of my penis
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
