If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
