Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
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