God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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