Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize