Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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