oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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