And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
