are you so shy because you have an std?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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