I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
