i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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