Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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