there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
