soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
