Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
