Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
we should paint friendship bongs
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
