Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize