I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
