The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
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honey bunches of taint.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.