So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.