i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The convent might be a nice break from real life