dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.