how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz