Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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