Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
