Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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