The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
