my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize