he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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