Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
