Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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