Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
