things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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