so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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