i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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