I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
