It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
