I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
