So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
