so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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