I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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