It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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