It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
