Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
