oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
